Posts : 2
Join date : 2016-08-13
Age : 14
Location : Pasadena, California
|Subject: Zero Wind Sat Aug 13, 2016 10:21 pm|| |
Full Name: Zero Nicolas Wind
Nickname (if applicable): Wind
Birthdate: October 22, 2002
Death-date (if applicable):
Home City/Town: Pasadena, California
Sicknesses/Diseases (if applicable):
Known Family: Nicolas Wind and Amy Wind (Parents), Dylan Wind (Brother)
Registered with SHIELD?: Yes
Face Claim (celebrity, model, etc.): Don Chealde
Body Type: Mesomorph
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Hair Style/Length: Short cut/clean
Facial Hair (if applicable):
Eye Color: Brown
Skin (Smooth, Wrinkled, Freckled, ect.): Smooth Light Skin
Tattoos (if applicable):
Distinguishing Marks/Features: Scar on forehead from a fight with another student.
Dress Style: Always in uniform
Uniform (if applicable, can be edited): X-Men First Class Uniform
Main Ability: Animation
Secondary Ability (if applicable):
Describe Powers: The ability to bring inanimate objects to life or to free a person from petrification. For example: I could possibly touch a carpet while thinking what I want it to do and possibly make it fly.
Weaknesses: Visions of death projected from mutants, especially my brother's death. For example: If I see images or a showing of mutants/humans dying I will start looking pale, weary, and I will no longer be social for the time being.
Future Development: I will be able to control my X-Men uniform and make it animate, using martial art techniques, etc to defeat enemies while wearing it; I will also be able to simply think of an object, touch that object and it will move/maneuver in the way I want it to; Finally, I will be able to push and pull inanimate objects towards me.
Skills Outside of Powers: Playing saxophone; Drawing images/pictures of food, cartoons, or "kid-friendly" subjects.
Weapons (if applicable):
History(please put time into and be decent/longish): A boy by the name of Zero Wind was brought into the world on October 22, 2002 in a hospital located in Pasadena, California. Zero was a normal baby, with a normal family; or so he thought. Zero was a mutant who would eventually have the power to bring inanimate objects to life. His family were also mutants, each with unique powers. Nicolas Wind, who was the father and soul of the family, could imagine any object he wanted and make it appear before his eyes. The mother, Amy Wind, possessed powers that could change air/wind flow in any shape, form, or direction. Dylan, who was his favorite of the family and was his older brother (age 13 at the time), could nearly summon a spark of water on his hands. They were the Winds, an old chain of mutants that goes across thousands of generations. Zero did not know of this until he was 10. Of course he was in Elementary School. His friends were cool and all, but something was strange about his family. He started noticing their powers, his father holding sipping on an ever-lasting water can. He also thought why it was always the perfect temperature at their house. And that is when he found out his mother's power. And finally, his brother who recently came back from a "so-called" camping trip was washing his hands in the bathroom without the faucet running. He was shocked by these strange powers and talked to his father, who taught him all Zero needed to know at the time. Zero was amazed, he wanted to tell his friends eagerly but was denied that from his brother, since Dylan had done the same when he had found out there were "mutants" and had gotten in serious trouble. A few years later, admiring their powers in between, he encountered his very first "magic trick." He was doing his HW, it was the near the end of 6th grade, he was doing an assignment about creativity and what would that creativity be, and was writing about how he could use the force (he had recently watched the new movie "Star Wars : The Force Awakens") and bring objects towards him. While he was writing his pencil started to stop every now and then, stopping like there was some barrier blocking it from going anywhere. Frustrated after a few encounters of this, he went to get a new one, but when he went to replace the old pencil with the new, the old pencil wouldn't budge, nor move. It was floating in midair. He screamed. He then went straight down to see his father and mother, having questioning looks. He told them what had happened, but they wore a broad smile. He was confused. But by the time they began to open their mouths and speak, he knew what had happened. He had his powers. I have gotten his powers! he thought. And then, his parents spoke to him about Xavier's school. Zero was blown. He was ready for Xavier's school! He was ready to get out of the boring old middle school and move on to his own kind! And nothing was ever the same with Zero after that...
Last edited by TheAstroAvenger on Sun Aug 14, 2016 10:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
Posts : 411
Join date : 2013-09-30
Age : 16
Location : A shadow in the crowd
|Subject: Re: Zero Wind Sat Aug 13, 2016 11:42 pm|| |
You have been denied for the following reasons:
~You cannot be apart of every team (we don't even roleplay FF or even SHIELD really)
~"student" is not a faceclaim. The only reason for you not to use a faceclaim is if your character is so inhuman like (and not the type from the comics) that it's impossible to find something to fit it. Even then, a human resemblance should still be given on certain accounts such as yours.
~The reason for your character being a "wolf species" doesn't necessarily make sense with your power choice nor is it explained heavily why or how he's apart of said species.
~Even if your character is of a wolf species, it still has hair color. Whether that be fur or hair, it has a color.
~Being part wolf would definitely be considered a "distiguishing feature".
~You should only have one uniform
~Try going more in depth for the description of your power description as well as its weaknesses.
~Finger movement... don't. People have weird minds.
-should be in 3rd person, as should your posts
-how do you even know about Cadmus?? He's no longer relevant
-mutants don't even develop their powers until puberty, and puberty is not the age five
Please correct these issues and message an admin when you have done so. Thank you for your interest.
Did you read the rules at all? Also, did you read the old roleplays? Cadmus hasn't been relevant in the RP for years irl time. The player is no longer apart/interested in the group.
Posts : 411
Join date : 2013-09-30
Age : 16
Location : A shadow in the crowd
|Subject: Re: Zero Wind Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:34 pm|| |
You have been DENIED for the following reasons:
-the FC is in his 50s, no where near 13, and the way you describe him, it sounds like he may be Caucasian
-"human" is not an ethnicity
-being in spandex or w/e those uniforms are made out of constantly sounds like a hella lot of chaffing, making it highly uncomfortable to wear it all the time and unlikely
-the way you describe your character's powers isn't really... effective in your example. It doesn't make that much sense. Is there a process? Why only possibly? Do you have to keep touching the carpet to keep it moving? How exactly do his powers work?
-the weakness stated has nothing to do with his powers, just a weakness as a person
-future development doesn't make that much sense in general
-please refrain from using first person completely
-"'kid-friendly' subjects" is not a skill
-unless your character can draw them, simply putting "cartoons" is not a skill
-sparks and water are two different things; the figurative speech doesn't really fit in that sense
-the RP takes place in 2016, keep in mind. I believe the new Star Wars movie would have been out already at the time you're talking, but if you could make it clearer that'd be nice
-Please no abbreviations when writing.
A little note, mutants weren't really that all-known for a while, so it's slightly unlikely that they would go that far back in their history. At least, knowingly that is.
Sorry to do this to you again. Please make the changes and we will re-review. We believe you have potential and are farther along than some previously new members when it comes to grammar and such. Please keep trying! We appreciate your interest.
|Subject: Re: Zero Wind Today at 8:54 am|| |